Memoirs of an actress; after an audition

Today's audition really left me feeling...well uneasy. It just went so quick! It was like get in there do a few brain games and then straight into the dung. So I was partnered with this lovely girl, who was Godsent- she heard all the instructions I managed not to hear. We played two friends (or at least I think they were, I did not have enough time to figure out the detail of their friendship). I liked the writing- quite natural and as an actor you pray for something like that and after a few minutes read through, I felt somewhat comfortable to perform it to the judges and the other candidates- my competitors that is. And I say somewhat comfortable since I am still recovering from the fever that had bed ridden just under 48 hours ago, even my voice was just finding its way back to me thanks to a self medication of hot water as prescribed to me by a friend.

So anyways, when the time came to showcase, I did what is becoming a habit- I volunteered to go first. I've learnt that it shows enthusiasm and fearlessness. But of course it is always good to be ready before you do so. When we got up there we had to state our names and also explain why we wanted to take part in the project, I told them what you know already and then it was show time.

I felt kinda nervous, muffled my words a bit at first...gosh even thinking of it now is really displeasing. I felt it was kinda dead and uninspired, not so much my peformance but instead the dialogue between the two characters. So I guess it was my performance then, lol. I had decided upon an objective but I'm not sure I played it strong enough. Needless to say, I sat down thinking 'WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST DO?!!!!'.

And I had to remain in that state of mind through the other performances since I so eagerly went up first (I'm not discounting the act). But I must say some of the actors were really good! I even managed to laugh. However, at the back of my mind I was like damn, maybe I should have done it this way or that. 'Well whatever', I even eventually thought to myself. It's over anyways.

The hour went so quick and nope, no chance to revive myself. But I still had enough grace to pay compliments to those actors I was impressed by, so you can imagine how shocked I was when this girl told me my performance made her nervous???!!!! She thought I was really good! Then came a few others from some other actors. I couldn't believe it. Perhaps they were messing with me. I even looked for clues from the Judges' faces- nothing, nada!

So anyways, I'll find out by Monday latest whether I was succesful or not.

But I have faith. I have faith.